Entry title:
Date / Time : Monday, July 26, 2010 / 8:40 PM
After our fight yesterday , Now i knew i cant just leave or abandon him like that . he looks so fragile. i can see and felt the pain all the way inside him , my heart feel ache inside . when he's crying , i cant hold the pain i felt inside saw him crying..i cried too... he's not the man i noe before .. the man that i noe ...he always known as strong.. he has a strong emotional and stubborn . [but i love it ] eventough when he's not happy , he will smile to everyone [except me] he always smile even when he dont want to smile . he always bring joy to everyone... but .. that night he look so weak .. its like he's going to break into pieces he cried out everything that night ... he's like 8th yers old kid crying missing his parents . although he always look strong.. but now i noe.. he need love more than anyone he need care more than anyone he wants happiness more than anyone.. he has keep all the pain for many years.. it must be hard for him..to bare it all alone... he's longing to see his parents.. i could feel how bad he miss them..
Maybe , for all this time.. he cover up his weakness with his stubborn and his emotional... his funny jokes and his brightest smile
and maybe..i not enough understand you .. yet you not fully understand about me too...
if someone could understand 100% about you.. there will be no lonely in this world... but i learn more to understand you ...
i didnt hope you could care more about me anymore.. i dont wish anything from you anymore.. but one.. i wish i could see you live happily everyday .. if there is a girl could make you more better and happy.. i gave in my place..
but until that time come.. i will stay by your side , holding your hands..wont let it go.. I'll stay with you till you reunited with your family... I'll stay with you til i really saw you find your happiness.. even you wanted me to go..i will still stay with you till you find the right one..
If it possible..i wont let you alone.. if there's anything i can do for you.. i do it all for you..even it will risk my life..
i dont ask anything in return.. but i dont want to see you in pain anymore...
if you feel like you want to cry.. you can count on my shoulder.. altough my shoulder didnt comfort and full with bones.. but i will cry with you and hold you tight till you stop crying...
I'll pray for you everything... asking Dear God to let you and your family reunited soon.. hoping that He can hear my pray.. and when ur parents coming back.. i will told them.. how lucky them to have you as their son.. and thanks them to giving birth a such wonderful boy .. for me he was a treasure in my life...
im not leaving you... because i love you my dear.... [ baby , when you upset , remember my stupid face] [gosh . i loooook so dead ] ==
