i hate you .
you were the person i hate the most in this world .
i really hate you ...
i wish i can hate you instead of love you ...

i always love Christmas
but now i fear to face this Christmas
this Christmas i already plan a lot of things..
i even lie my manager just to get off day on that day..
i even plan to buy Christmas cake to celebrate it
i never eat Christmas cake before
just because i never eat it , i want to eat it together with someone special
i even already plan the present
i even plan to stay his house
writing a letter to Santa clause because we had already promise to write it together before
but now i am here... left alone .
hahahaha . i am so dumb
so God damn idiot!
now i am so regret...
that day i am going to sit alone at home
hiding in my room and crying like a little children...
what you doing to me?
you should tell me earlier
you should not let me disappointed like that...
Christmas is getting near
fuck.
what should i do with it?
i dont wan stay at home
im sure i'll become crazy if i stay at home alone




you are so easily to moving on..
this was the part i admire you the most..
i wish i can be like you.
you can change and delete picture easily...
you can walk away easily like it was nothing happen

i can say that you're awesome .

every night ...
just like this silent night...
i will cry suddenly thinking of memories...
listening some song , then i would cry loud...
did you guys watch twilight?
the part when Edward leave Bella
yea.. i was in that situation...
i wakes up screaming and crying for having nightmare
even when i wake i am still having nigtmare
here comes Jacob...
but Bella doesnt love Jacob
she likes Jacob
but she loves Edward

i cry myself to sleep
cry myself to wake
cry myself in road
cry myself in bas
cry myself at work
everywhere i go , just if i the memories flash back
i can hear the sound of my tears dropping.


i am tired
so damn tired...


the memories still come back ...
and keep come back ...